As I was told on the phone tonight, “You haven’t blogged since December 16th!” Yes, I know. It turns out that when you uproot your whole life and take it across the country, your day gets a whole lot busier. Not to say that it hasn’t been an incredible whirlwind of a month, because it certainly has, but it seems to have just flown by.
Well, it’s certainly been a year, hasn’t it? If you’ve been with me since January, I’m sure you’ve seen a marked change in my posts, my personality, my lifestyle, everything. Let’s revisit my first post of the year.
If we’re being totally honest here, finding things that make me happy might be a little more difficult in the next few months or so. I’m in the middle of recovering from a pretty intense depression, brought on by an unleashing of suppressed unhappiness for the past eight or so years. I know that sounds really broad, but…that’s what it is. So, yes, finding things that make me happy every day that are outside my immediate world is hard for me right now. I just thought we should be square on how everything is right now.
Later on in the post, I go on to talk about how the only thing that made me happy that day was watching the Fantasia movies. Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good Fantasia movie any time of day, but my illness was so bad at the time that I’m pretty sure all I did was watch Fantasia and make that post, and maybe do some reading in bed.
And so I decided to start this project, where at first I was blogging every day to give myself a purpose and to make myself write again – because what is a writer if she doesn’t write? So I wrote every day for months as I worked on healing myself and learning what was really important to me. It was very difficult and at times heartrendingly painful, but at the same time, I set goals for myself and I knew I wanted them to work out as planned.
Almost a whole year later, here we are. This blog is a time capsule of the steady growth my life has taken, as I’ve not only come out of depression but have grown into the person I wanted to be when I started writing a year ago. One of the only things that kept me going while I was depressed was the firm knowledge that I wanted to move to New York City by the end of the year, and as I lived, I kept that plan in the back of my mind. Not one move was made that didn’t push me further toward that goal.
One year later, here I am, just outside New York City, living and working in the greatest city in the world. I cannot believe how happy and blessed I am now. A year ago, this seemed like an impossibility, a crazy goal that I’d placed in front of myself. Sometimes it still doesn’t feel real just because of how perfect it all seems. I feel like I’ve really soared in the last year, personally and professionally, and I couldn’t be happier. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but as I discussed with a friend the other day, this must be what it’s like when you’re literally living your dream. When everything is as you want it to be, it feels like you’re flying all day every day.
In the last year, I’ve become the woman I was meant to be, kept a consistent blog, written fiction consistently, published a short story, created a successful and thriving Etsy business, became an entertainment/pop culture knowledge powerhouse, uncovered my personal sense of style, and moved to NYC with a position in my field.
Can you believe it?
I know 2011 wasn’t a great year for some people, but it was one of the best years of my life thus far. I’ve improved in almost every area of my life and I’m so much happier than I was a year ago. And with any luck, 2012 will be a banner year, one for the books. I have high hopes for the next twelve months – high hopes backed by ambition and motivation, and I personally can’t wait to see what 2012 has in store for me.
Have you reflected on your year yet? What were your highlights?