It’s definitely been an interesting few days for me. I’ve had to get myself back into the swing of school, back into getting ready for class, that kind of thing.
But honestly, it hasn’t been the teeth-pulling, want-to-kill-myself experience that I was secretly afraid it might be. That’s how it felt last semester, when I knew I was in no way prepared to handle school. And I know that sounds lame. Like, girl, get yourself together and go to class. It’s not that hard.
But at the same time, it was. It was that hard to make myself do anything beyond go to work, where I succeed and things aren’t hard and I don’t have to think philosophically about everything. I pretty much zoned out other than that, and it wasn’t fun. Do I regret it? I mean, I guess. I don’t really know how to pinpoint what I regret, exactly. I regret not paying more attention to what was going on with me and getting help for it and learning how to deal with my problems. But then I did figure it out, and each day has been a step forward.
So it was a really, really good feeling to start preparing for class this semester and realize that I’m actually excited. I still hate school, that’s nothing new, but I’m feeling like I haven’t in a really long time. Maybe a year, maybe a little longer. I always used to have this zeal for school and for learning and just generally for life, and somewhere along the way, I lost that. But lately, I’ve been feeling that again. I get goosebumps of excitement when I think about learning.
I never said I wasn’t a nerd. Because I am. Big time nerd. Big time. Judge me.
I think this is a sign that I’m feeling better. That things are actually changing. I’m back to my old nerdy self. I’m a little bit better-dressed, now that I work in a boutique, but that’s all Nerd in Sheep’s Clothing. Don’t be fooled.
My dad told me over Christmas that he really likes the gifs I post on my Tumblr, so I’m going to share some of them with you here.
Also, I realized I never told you that the other day, I bought my ticket to see Ben Folds at Cain’s Ballroom in Tulsa on February 1st. Ben is pretty much only my favorite musician of all time and forever, so the fact that he’s coming to Tulsa on his (so far) tiny Lonely Avenue tour is thrilling. My ticket should be arriving any day now, so I’ll be sure to let you know when that is.